I am Mort, hear me roar, in numbers too big to ignore.
Morts of the world unite! Throw off the oppressive influence of those arrogant elitist bastards who think they can look down on us just because they can handle pointer arithmetic. Assert your god-given right to crappy code. Revel in the halls of mediocrity.
Stand proud and tall - or short, if you're not very tall - and cry to the heavens, "I am Mort! Fuck you!"